Five Reason Why I’m Not A Vegetarian

20 Apr


While out shopping today I was struck with an odd thought. Chalk it up to the fact that I’m currently getting my oil changed and that kind I boredom can spark interesting thoughts a you wait for the pushy salesman to come back and tell you of all the other fluids your car needs. Along with wipers, a vacuum, and a radiator flush. So what’s the random thought you ask? I’m betting the suspense is killing you. Well, here it is, How in the world do people go with out meat? So, I came up with five reasons why I’m not a vegetarian. I could come up with more no doubt, but five sounded trendy and cool.

1. Costco-Have you been to Costco lately? Being a vegetarian at Costco must be the most depressing thing EVER! It’s like going to Diary Queen and deciding to just get a water. Going to Costco is all about the samples, and the best samples are always meat.

2. Bacon-I take pride in the fact that I’m a bacon connoisseur. I can still remember the two best bacon experiences I’ve had. One was in Seattle at this dive in Queen Ann Hill called, Cafe Mecca. My mouth still waters at the thought of that thick salty goodness. The other was on a mission trip to Africa. The whole time we ate really skinny chickens without salt, hot sauce, or any other flavor. After weeks of suppressing your tastebuds like that anything would taste good, right? It was on a tour of the Zambezi river that I tasted the most delectable meal I’ve ever encountered. I still wake up longing for those slabs of fatty meat. To become a vegetarian would be to deny that inner voice that colors my life.

3. Starbucks-This one doesn’t really have anything to do with meat, but I really love coffee and I just had to let the world know. I guess I could spin it to make it work. I don’t want to be a vegan either, so that counts right?

4. Bacon Cheeseburgers-Need I say anything else? Who doesn’t love bacon cheeseburgers. I have a philosophy that I live by; never trust anyone that doesn’t crave a good bacon cheeseburger every once in a while.

5. Jesus ate meat-this is the single biggest factor in me loathing being a vegetarian. Who doesn’t want to be like Jesus. It’s what we all aspire too, right? Well, at the end of the day, Jesus at meat.



15 Responses to “Five Reason Why I’m Not A Vegetarian”

  1. scottlapierre April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

    If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat? Think about it!

  2. becomingcliche April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

    If I liked bacon, vegetarianism might be a challenge. And I don’t live where there is a Costco.

    For the record, I’m not a vegetarian, but I don’t eat meat more than a couple of times a month. My kid is vegetarian, and I am too lazy to cook separate meals.

    • tommuellerbooks April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

      What’s funny is that I’m not allowed to eat bacon:-). I have high cholesterol from to many wonderful years of powering down the stuff that now I have to eat turkey bacon.

      • becomingcliche April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

        Which bears as much relationship to actual bacon as wet newspaper. Condolences.

      • tommuellerbooks April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

        Great description.

  3. girlwithoutadream April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

    Haha this post is too true…. Bacon cheeseburgers were created to heal emotional wounds.

    • tommuellerbooks April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

      I love this. I’ll be quoting you for the rest I my life:-)

  4. Scott April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

    Jesus ate lamb and fish. He never touched the bacon, Tom.

  5. Andrew April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

    Ha, I love how bacon is on here basically twice. And it should be! Plus you’re right. The best samples are meat. That should be on a shirt.

    • tommuellerbooks April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

      Yeah, I guess I just couldn’t resist having bacon on there twice. In reality, it could have been every one of my reasons.

      • Andrew April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

        Completely agree.

  6. Destinie April 20, 2012 at 5:30 #

    You either like bacon or you’re wrong. It’s like eating concentrated joy……or a mother’s love..

  7. tommuellerbooks July 12, 2013 at 5:30 #

    Reblogged this on tommuellerbooks and commented:

    1 year later and my resolve to be a carnivore is stronger than ever.

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